Everybody is staring at Mya Kyi as she is walking deliberately toward court room just like she is coming back to her home. Her eyes are still as bright as diamonds against people from the room except there is an emptiness which scares everyone the most.
Her dainty beauty doesn't appear like she just killed the man in cold blooded action two days ago. It is very ironic to find the scene that every one's eyes are setting on this beauty of criminal and admiring on her natural figure which has full capacity of attracting opposite sex. They come here today to enjoy and applause the final decision of juries as everyone is saying that she would receive the death penalty for her criminal act, but they just forget their purpose the moment Mya Kyi comes in. They feel regret immediately for their cruel thoughts when they see the beauty of Mya Kyi except a group of people whose faces are quite resembled to the face of the man whom Mya Kyi killed. Only those family members are demanding the maximum punishment for her.
Today, Mya Kyi is wearing white satin longyi and blue blouse with long sleeve. The smoothness of her silk longyi is shaping her firm and long thighs proportionally every time she makes movement. She just loose her hairs down on her right breast, and it is a perfect picture when she occasionally tries to roll it up with her pleasantly smooth of palms and looses it down again. Mya Kyi also has the beauty of confidence that she wouldn't need to look at herself in the mirror twice. She, herself, knows that she is a possessor of naturally beautified face. Everyone admit in their mind that she has, indeed, a natural born killing beauty. Mya Kyi pauses her paces for a while before entering into the room. Her eyes seem much brighter and brighter when she is looking into the crowd, and her face is exuding full of hope to find someone in the court room. "Is he going to be here?", a faint thought quickly rumble into her mind. As she looks into the group of people and scans through one by one, her hope is fading away and dying until it leaves complete emptiness in her eyes. She sighs with exasperation, and whispers "I will never able to see him again". She restores her eyes with emptiness as before ,and continues her walk into the room.
When Mya Kyi sits down in front of everyone and faces toward the judges, she finds herself sitting alone at forefront and starts feeling insecure because of the eyes of hatred, jealousy, pain and anguish from behind. She thinks about something that is clogging in her mind. "I am sensing the emptiness inside me right now. Whenever I think of my past and present, I am feeling millions of pits somewhere inside my chest, and it is digging slowly until nothing is left. I am lost somewhere between this human world and my own space; the space where I can breath in and breath out". As those thoughts are lingering on and on, Mya Kyi is drunken by the odor of this loneliness. She can not relate to the world of anxieties and angers. She finally neglects and rejects those people attacking from every corner of the sight, and try to dwell herself in complete tranquil mode.
Now, the judges are ready to scrutinize her case. The chief justice sitting in the middle and on top of everyone has the symbol of grossness and grotesque, and shows the sign of no mercy in his face. He might have been appointed carefully for this murder case. It occurs to her that she can not expect any sincere leniency except to protect herself to die like a human proudly for killing a man.
|"Why did you kill the man?", start the question by the chief justice. Even though everyone already knows the reason behind it, Mya Kyi has to repeat the same answer again in which she finds it quite numb to yet another appeal. It seems everyone is pretending to making sure that they wouldn't send her to death by doing false judgment.|
"He tried to torture and rape me", she answers in her emotionless tone.
"Do you say it was your self defense?", he continues.
"Yes, it was". There is no slightest hint of any regret in her answer. Not too strong tone. Not too soft tone. Just as simple as "Yes, it was".
"How did you defense yourself?"
"I tried with my bare hand but I couldn't, and so I hit with the knife I found from the kitchen".
"How many times did you hit?"
"I don't remember".
The roars of protest to her answer instantly come out from the crowd.
The chief justice controls over the crowd and says, "It was more than 20 times". He suggests the fact by looking at the police report.
Mya Kyi doesn't remember how many time she plunged with the knife. She didn't count when she was killing a man in order to escape from being raped. She only had in her mind that she had to escape from a monstrous rapist.
She completely understands for those people who want to revenge her for the death of their love one. It doesn't mean she has to pay the price with her own life. It is not punishment. Mya Kyi is ready to embrace all kind of punishment except revenge. The social concept is that the punishment should fit the crime. In the case of death penalty, an individual kills another human and he/she is "punished" for it by death. Punishment is supposed to be a temporary penalization for a wrongful action. Death is far from temporary. One is to learn from one's mistakes. How can the person learn if they are paying for their mistake with their life? By imposing the death penalty the individual does not learn from their mistakes and neither does society. Society demands that the punishment should fix the harm it has done. By sentencing a person to death no harm has been fixed. Revenge is inconsistent with society's demands that justice be served because the punishment has to fit the crime. The death penalty is "uncivilized, " "inhuman," inconsistent with "human dignity" and with the "dignity of life."
"Is there anything you want to say?", the chief justice asks.
Mya Kyi knows the moment that she is going to be judged for what she had done. She doesn't want to explain and say anything to get their mercy. She belongs to the mankind in which the species are not judged by the others. They judge themselves. The people in this room are not related to her species. She only wants to see "Ko Ko" before she leaves this world forever. She used to share her life with him, but she found that it was too much for her when he was asking for more to become a victim of his desires. She left him to protect her own space. The more she is having immense love and affection, the more she is capable of loving and caring, but she doesn't know where to put and unload it. It is multiplying and expending day by day if she can not find the right place for it. Sometime she longs for the right place to sit down and mold it as the way she wants but she is not given a chance, and she is carrying it on her back until her journey is ended. It could also be another turn of fortune wheel to roll down to somewhere else again. The phenomena is only implicating to someone like her who is not attaching to someone else because this kind of being are also easy to attach and connect to another kind of being without exposing the truth matter of emotions. This "connection" has no exponents to be plugged into a definitive equations that will result into the desired pathway of information to share with others. The only theory is "sense" it or "feel" it. It is just there and exist. Mya Kyi designed her pathway into the core of solid tranquil. But it is time for her now to unload her bearing emotions and desires in order to disconnect the human world.
Mya Kyi doesn't say any words and being taciturn.